This Thanksgiving week we may not feel that we have much to be thankful for because of some setbacks in the last election towards gay rights.  Thanksgiving will be the premiere of the movie Milk starring Sean Penn directed by Gus Van Sant.  Hopefully there will be a big showing of movie theaters that will be carrying the movie across the US so we can all see it without having to travel too far.  The Milk Movie also stars Emile Hirsch and Josh Brolin.

Harvey Milk is known in San Francisco and around the country as a gay leader and hero.  There will also be Memorials held in various places in time for the 30th anniversary of Harvey Milk.

Harvey Milk Memorial 11-27-08 at 9pm on sidewalks of santa monica blvd where it meets san vicente.  To create an aerial candlelit equal sign demonstrating power of peace and unity.  A dignified ceremony marking the 30th anniversary of Harvey Milk, a gay rights pioneer and the first openly gay man elected to public office.

Recently, a Harvey Milk day was vetoed by Governor Schwarzenegger on September 30.  This bill AB 2567 would require the governor proclaim May 22 each year as Harvey Milk Day.  It is too bad this did not pass but we should all go out and support the movie and attend his Memorial if in a city where either is going on.

Thousand upon thousands of gays united across the country today to say that we want equal rights now when it comes to marriage.  We are tired of paying taxes just like every other family but not being equal.  There were protests held from Utah, Oklahoma, Texas, and 130 cities overall.

Everyone I speak to in the gay community think that Proposition 8 in California was the best thing to ever happen to gay rights.  It not only opened up the floodgates for the LGBT community to be motivated to get out there and be active but it is really bringing us together.  I attended the rally in Houston today at city hall and took some great photos of the event.

This was a highly respectable event with people dressed nicely and showing up to support love instead of hate.  I was so impressed with the speakers and the performance from Jason and deMarco who sung in a Capella.

Two lesbians took stage who have been married and not sure their current marriage status in California gave the most emotional speech.  It was an enlightening event to bring the gay community together and see so many gay youth attending.  This was no gay pride parade, nightclub, or house party but a meeting at city halls across the nation that really showed we want and deserve marriage rights just like anyone else.  America was made to give rights to minorities not to be taken away from majorities.  It was great to see everyone out and about coming together for our futures.

Networking within the gay community is a great way to make professional connections, friends, and socialize. For many of us, socializing within the LGBT community is more comfortable, relaxed and appealing. Unfortunately, especially in smaller cities, networking and socializing in the gay community often revolves around the local bars. Whether you simply prefer to avoid the bars, find that bar hopping conflicts with your other priorities, or just aren’t interested, there are ways to network and meet and greet within the gay community that do not, in fact, involve drag shows, test tube shots, and loud dance music.

First, if there is a local gay and lesbian center or organization in your area, this can be one of the best places to start looking for gay networking options. Okay, you may not be the support group type, nor in a place where you need help coming out, but quite often these centers can also offer resources, like local gay professional networking groups. If you have a local professional networking organization, this can be one of the best ways to meet other gay individuals in a relaxed setting, and might even help you make valuable professional connections. Some large corporations also maintain their own gay and lesbian professional groups within the company. If yours does, make time to participate.

Another great networking resource is local volunteer groups. You will find many LGBT folk volunteering at AIDS and HIV related organizations, but also working with queer youth, doing outreach education and volunteering in matters of sexual health. Spending some time helping out with LGBT related issues can allow you to meet others and share your skills in a meaningful way.

While it may sound simple, being out will help you to meet others. If you are open about your sexuality and relationships, you will find that others come out to you. No one is suggesting you go to work wrapped in your rainbow flag, but openness does send a message to those around you that you are comfortable in your own skin, and may allow you to meet others around you.

One website that really sticks out is Linkedin.com they feature a search where you can find other gay and lesbian professionals to show off your resume or befriend. There is also facebook but linkedin is more on the professional level for those looking to get ahead in a particular industry.

We should all get together and find out where all this money came from to get Proposition 8 passsed in California and who funded the commercials in Florida.  If Churches are getting involved in politics THEY SHOULD get their TAX EXEMPT status taken away.  Hey, what better way to get our economy back in shape get some tax money from these Churches.

Churches seem to get the free ride when it comes to taxes and we all know they are dipping into politics way more than they should.  They should be taxed just like everyone else!  We at least need to make sure this is enforced.

We should have been undercover in the churches with small recording devices.  We damn well should have been doing this.

I think the best place to make a donation right now is lambdalegal.org to help get the ball running on this.  Marching and honking may make noise but the real noise is making phone calls and sending emails to people that can make a difference.

Here’s how you get it done:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the “Mormon” or LDS Church) has gone too far in promoting the 2008 California Proposition 8, which would claims to amend the California state constitution to define marriage as one man and one woman in order to supersede a state supreme court opinion issued earlier this year. [Whether the proposition was a lawful amendment or a revision that cannot legally be made by a voter initiative remains an open question.]

Section 501(c)(3) of US Code Title 26, which governs tax-exempt organizations, reads (emphasis added):

(3) Corporations, and any community chest, fund, or foundation, organized and operated exclusively for religious, charitable, scientific, testing for public safety, literary, or educational purposes, or to foster national or international amateur sports competition (but only if no part of its activities involve the provision of athletic facilities or equipment), or for the prevention of cruelty to children or animals, no part of the net earnings of which inures to the benefit of any private shareholder or individual, no substantial part of the activities of which is carrying on propaganda, or otherwise attempting, to influence legislation (except as otherwise provided in subsection (h)), and which does not participate in, or intervene in (including the publishing or distributing of statements), any political campaign on behalf of (or in opposition to) any candidate for public office.

(The “otherwise provided” clause does not apply, as the LDS Church, being a church, is a disqualified entity as described in subsection (h).)

The LDS church, through inciting its members to donate time and means to support Proposition 8 (resulting in millions of dollars of cash contributions from its members and countless volunteer hours), and in-kind campaign contributions to a group that supports Proposition 8, has now made a substantial part of its activities attempting to influence legislation.

You can help! Send the IRS an official complaint about the LDS Church’s activities, either by email, fax or US Mail.

1. Prepare a copy of the Official LDS Prop. 8 Letter read in all LDS churches in California on 29 June 2008.
2. Prepare one or more other articles of your choice (you can use these links, or do your own research) showing the LDS Church’s substantial activities attempting to influence this legislation.
3. Prepare this Pre-Filled IRS Form 13909 and add your personal information, or fill out a Blank IRS Form 13909 from scratch with the information in the pre-filled form (these links and an alternative filled form are copied below in RESOURCES.)
4. Don’t forget to date your referral at the top and include your submitter information. If you are a member of the Church, you may wish to check the box marked “I am concerned that I might face retaliation or retribution if my identity is disclosed.”
5. Send it to the IRS, either by:
   * Email: Prepare your documents as PDF’s or web links, and send your complaint form with supporting documentation to eoclass@irs.gov.
   * Fax: fax your documents to (214) 413-5415
   * Mail: mail your documents to
   IRS EO Classification
   Mail Code 4910DAL
   1100 Commerce Street
   Dallas TX 75242-1198

RESOURCES:
Official IRS Complaint Process for Tax-Exempt Organizations
US Code Title 26, Section 501
Official LDS Prop. 8 Letter
List of LDS Entities (Source of Tax ID Number)

Information required for IRS Form 13909:
Name of Referred Organization: The Corporation of the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Street Address: 50 E. North Temple St., Salt Lake City UT 84150
Organization’s EIN: 23-7300405
For Section 4, see the Pre-Filled IRS Form 13909, or write your concerns in your own words. If your reader will not open that form, try the Alternative Pre-Filled 13909.

Thanks to a formerly faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (”the Church”) for the update to this for us to take action.

The Mormons managed to spend millions and use Karl-Rove type scare tactics in getting the word out that gays will be teaching your children about homosexuality at an early age in schools.  They did this because they are so scared of gays having a right to marry.  The Catholics were also part of the big circus against gays in Proposition 8 and most surprising were Black Churchgoers who were excited to bring in Obama as the first Black President.

Gays and Lesbians will now know that they can’t just go around thinking that a minority will care about the GLBT cause.  The “minorities” will look out for their selfish religious beliefs first.  It was sad to see so many blacks voting for Proposition 8 as if they forgot what being discriminated against was like and as if they forgot what it felt to be on this side of the fence.

Ellen Degeneres said on her blog today that:

This morning, when it was clear that Proposition 8 had passed in California, I can’t explain the feeling I had. I was saddened beyond belief. Here we just had a giant step toward equality and then on the very next day, we took a giant step away.

I believe one day a “ban on gay marriage” will sound totally ridiculous. In the meantime, I will continue to speak out for equality for all of us.

We can hope that a Democratic controlled congress and senate and president will change things for gay rights but I have my doubts.  They want to get re-elected in 2-4 years and how can they if they dare approve of such a thing as gay marriage, hate crime legislation, and putting more money into a real hiv cure.

GLBT lost a lot this election even worse off than we were 2 years ago.  Sally Kerns in Oklahoma got re-elected - you know the lady who calls Gays Terrorists.  Keith Olbermann has not made her a Worst Person in the World for some reason I sure wish he would.  This lady is the witch of witches.  I have a friend in her district of 86 in OKC and he could not believe she won again.

There was also Andrew Rice out of Oklahoma who got beat out.  Then there was Florida who voted to put more discrimination against gays in their constitution.  I could expect this attitude out of Arizona but why Florida and California.  How disappointing is that?

We can be proud of Massachetts who legalized marriage and pot but pretty much disguisted with the rest of the country right now!

Bottom Line:  We pay taxes just like everyone else.  Equal rights should be given to every tax-paying citizen.  Keep in mind these churches do not pay taxes but yet they seem to control every social issue in our government.

Times are tight, but you still want to have a memorable holiday season. With fall approaching many of us are turning our thoughts to the holidays ahead. Whether you traditionally entertaining over the holidays or would like to for the first time, keeping to your budget is likely critical. Several simple tips and tricks, plus a few new holiday entertaining ideas can make all the difference.

Cost cutting measures can make a big difference in your budget. If you do opt for your traditional holiday open house, dinner party or cocktail party, limit the drinks served. Alcohol is a huge expense when entertaining, especially if you fully stock a bar. Consider serving a spiced cider or a lovely cranberry based cocktail to all your guests to reduce your expenses. Old fashioned, non alcoholic holiday punches are another great idea and are typically much more affordable than alcoholic drinks. There are several good boxed wines on the market now that are significantly more economical, but still quite drinkable.  Less expensive cuts of meat or vegetarian meals are another way to reduce the expense of your traditional holiday party. You might also consider sharing costs and hosting responsibilities with a friend or family member if you have the same or similar guests lists.

One of the best ways to fit holiday entertaining into your budget is to rethink your party planning. Replace your cocktail party with a family tree trimming party. Invite everyone and their kids, serve cocoa and cookies and string popcorn and cranberries or sing holiday songs. You could also consider organizing a cookie swap to share baked goods with friends in lieu of the usual party, or even plan a party around a much anticipated holiday season ball game and serve sandwiches and snacks. Casual meals also offer the option of an old fashioned potluck. Let everyone bring a dish to share and relax.

More formal holiday activities can work without breaking the bank, as long as you step away from plans to throw large dinner or cocktail parties. Dessert parties are a great choice, allowing you to entertain for an evening with limited stress and without spending a lot. You can make dessert or splurge and buy a luxurious treat or two to share with friends or family. Serve coffee, a hot alcoholic beverage or a dessert wine, depending upon the treat you choose. Hosting a breakfast or brunch may also cut your costs and help you stay within budget. Consider throwing a wine tasting, asking each guest to bring their favorite to share. Serve a variety of fondues and dips. Fortunately, many of these money saving ideas can save valuable time during the holiday season as well.

TIP: Takes some notes from our Summer party ideas.

Throwing a Halloween Party?

We recommend Dry Ice arrangements to make a spooky fog or maybe a fog machine to make things more fun.  There are several games you can play such as where you say Halloween related phrases in a circle or your typical party games.  Why not a spin the bottle Halloween style?  Well, I guess an OUIJA board would serve that purpose a little better to be in the ghostly spirit.

Themed Parties

Think of a theme such as a 80’s, 90’s, or White Trash Theme.  This year with the presidential election you could come up with a theme party.  Dress up as Sarah Palin, Ellen, or even Hillary.  I always thought it would be fun to have a Party Monster party or even a Drag Queen party where every one has to dress as the opposite sex.

Christmas Parties

If you are throwing a serious Christmas extravaganza then consider some of these top ten gift ideas for your friends and relatives.  If for fun, then go for these gag gifts for the Secret Santa.

Our hunt today is to find out what’s good in the world of gay, independent film making. That’s a pretty large subject, larger than you might first think. What names come to mind when you think of gay indies? Jerek Jarman was first on my list, ‘Sebastian’ closely followed by Gus Van Sant, ‘My own private Idaho’ and ‘Even cowgirls get the blues’. Searching around the net I found a staggering amount of independent gay movies – independent as opposed to Hollywood. I mean, there haven’t been that many gay blockbusters have there? Brokeback Mountain was said to be the first but anyone who has watched The Wizard of Oz might take issue with that.

There are, of course, some famous ones: Pricilla Queen of the desert, To Wong Foo, thanks for everything Julie Newmar and The Birdcage, for example, though with that last one I would recommend the original La Cage aux folles. But what other gay movies are out there that you may not have heard about? That’s what I thought I would find out for you.

Have you heard of Law of Desire? This 1987 film from Spanish director Pedro Almodovar stars Antonio Banderas stalking the man of his dreams - and yes, there is a man-sex scene in there. Do you remember My beautiful laundrette, with Daniel Day Lewis? This caused quite a storm when it first came out thanks to the overt homosexuality and interracial relationships, particularly as Daniel plays a gay skinhead.

As we’re in Britain at the moment, what about Beautiful Thing? Directed by Hettie Macdonald and set in inner London this too caused quite a stir when it was released. It had enjoyed a good West End run as a play before transferring to the big screen and is something of a collectors’ item.

Ok, so there is a wealth of good, and not so good, gay indies out there to find – but where to find them is the next question. Try strandreleasing.com an online shop that has several genres, one of which is Gay and Lesbian. It’s interesting to note that many gay films deal with AIDS and you have to wonder if independent film makers would have found an audience for their gay films were it not for AIDS – it is the subject of many good indie films. (I know there were the likes of Midnight Cowboy before AIDS, but those films didn’t really have ‘gay’ as the central theme, or else they portrayed gay people as the bad guy or the comedy camp role, if at all.)

Zero Patience, directed by John Greyson stands out as one to find on line and buy. It looks at the alleged first man to bring AIDS to the USA and is by turns funny, dramatic and sad. There is also the fabulous Geoffrey, with Patrick Stuart in a camp role adding humor. This story is about a guy refusing to ever have sex again for fear of catching HIV. It too is a mix of funny and sad, with Mother Teresa playing the piano to top things off at the end.

Many of these indie films have come, originally, from plays but there are still many good plays waiting in the wings to be made into films. To find out what’s coming up in the world of gay independent films take a look at filmmovement.com where, among other things, you can find out about the 20th London Lesbian and Gay film festival. That was only one search result, festivals like this happen in Seattle, Paris, Tokyo and many other places. It’s just a question of how you search.

The rumors have been spreading like wildfire ever since the Sticky & Sweet tour started this fall that Madonna and Guy Ritchie would divorce because they are having martial problems. We heard about Alex Rodriquez the baseball player she may have had an affair with and then there was

I have wondered what took so long with Madonna and Guy Ritchie breaking up. He was the main reason that Madonna and her brother supposedly quit talking and he never really got behind her music. He was too busy being jealous of Madonna’s accomplishments and not really doing anything for himself.

Let’s all hope that the pre-nuptial agreement was around before they got hitched. I am afraid from some of the news stories I have read that they may not have had a pre-nup which could really put a dent in Madonna’s worth. According to the Sun.co.uk who originally broke the story they said they were more worried about the kids than anything.

This news just so happens right in the middle of her Sticky and Sweet tour hitting Boston, MA. Madonna is scheduled to perform tonight at 8pm at the TD Banknorth Gardens. I will be attending the concert myself on Thursday and very excited to see her new show!!

Madonna has also been in the news this week for banning Sarah Palin from attending her concert and wearing high heels that look like a gun sparking controversy with some gun rights groups. Teens wear gun and knive logos on their shirts these days bought from Pac Sun and MetroPark and Madonna is doing nothing but stomping on the gun with her feet she is not pointing it at anyone. Although she did say she would beat up Sarah Palin… I hope someone will!!

Peter Tatchell, writing in the Guardian (UK) recently, reported that despite the ‘improved’ security situation in war torn Iraq, Islamic death squads are engaged in a ‘homophobic killing spree. The Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani issued a fatwa urging the killing of lesbians and gays “in the most severe way possible”’, Tatchell says.

David Grey, producer for the gay film company Village Film, recently made a short film entitled ‘Queer Fear – gay life, Gay death in Iraq.’ The movie charts the tragic stories of several Iraqi individuals who are gay; it is not an easy movie to watch. Since its release, it is said, the situation has not improved, and it may in fact have become worse for gay and lesbian people in Iraq.

The reality is that in today’s ‘liberated’ Iraq, being gay or lesbian has become a death sentence. (Just as it is for a woman to have sex outside of marriage.) Anyone who is deemed to be insufficiently devout and pure is at risk of assassination, particularly in areas such as Basra, a city that the British military have now abandoned. This is, in effect, sexual cleansing and the death squads are boasting that they have exterminated all “perverts and sodomites” in many of the country’s other main cities.

There is a covert gay rights movement in the country. We know this because several members of it have gone missing after documenting the abuse of rights and the killing of gay men and women, and getting the news to the outside world. Commentators believe that the situation in Iraq is now worse for lesbian, gay and transgender people than it was under the rule of Saddam Hussein.

But, in the true spirit of the free voice, Iraqi LGBT is bringing the news to the world at large and trying to make a difference. Their site, iraqilgbtuk.blogspot.com, based in the UK, is keeping a watch on international reportage while raising funds to help fight the cause. It was while browsing this site that I found more, yet similar, disturbing news:

“This morning, [25th September 2008, just after the Tatchell article was published] news came from Iraq that the coordinator of Iraqi LGBT in Baghdad, Bashar, aged 27, has been assassinated in a barber shop. Militias burst in and sprayed his body with bullets.”

What can the Iraqi people do about it? You may well ask. Sadly the answer is not a lot. Going to the police for protection is a non-starter as the police are infiltrated by fundamentalists, especially in the Badr militia. Pro-fundamentalist ministers in the Government are turning a blind eye to the killings and, if one’s government will not help, who else is there? There are organizations like Iraqi LGBT, doing what they can from a distance, and individuals too can add their voice and their views. Outrage, the direct action group formed in the UK to fight what they see as violations of human rights in the GLBT community, also accept donations and provide help to Iraq GLBT. And the media around the world is slowly picking up on the subject, I am thinking of recent articles in Newsweek and the UK gay paper, the Pink Paper, in particular here.

Your own views are your own of course and not everyone will read the above from the same viewpoint as those who report it. But the clear message is that, in this part of the world, a battle rages between the religion and rights, a battle that will going on for many years and may never end. Which means the killing of fellow LGBT people will never stop either. Unless those of us lucky enough to be born elsewhere try to make a difference.

NOTES:

Queer Fear,  the mentioned movie is available to stream at http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uB7TcPGXlHY

Each school year brings some of the most interesting news when it comes to college fraternities and high school sports hazings.  Last month, several high school football players were accused of sodomizing six younger teammates with a broomstick (size queens) during training camp.  What brings on this sort of thing in testosterone driven sports and initiations in frat houses?

‘Hazings’ are also known as ‘initiations’ – things that one group of people will do to another person in order for that person to be allowed to join a group, gang or even a Fraternity. The word derives from a 17th century Scottish word meaning to frighten, scold or beat cattle while driving them, and from the French Haser, to tease or insult.

No surprises then that Hazings have received some bad press as many initiation ceremonies go further than just simple teasing, and include harassment, humiliation and even physical abuse. You may have seen movies such as The Skulls (2000) which took entry into a college fraternity as its theme – the guys there started out with fun and adventurous rituals to perform, such as stealing the weathervane from a tower. But these soon started to turn nasty and dangerous, both physically and emotionally, for the characters. And that’s the warning.

Hazing has been a popular activity in school and sports institutions for many years, especially among the male of our species. I can remember innocent things which we now call hazing; having to carry someone’s bags, or being dared to do something only slightly mischievous like make a face at a teacher behind his back. Now though these things are becoming increasingly more brutal and institutions and individuals are finding themselves in court over what they have allowed to happen. Here is an example from nola.com, dated May 2008: “Five members of a Tulane University fraternity were arrested Tuesday and five others are being sought on felony battery charges in an alleged hazing incident in which two pledges received second- and third-degree burns from boiling water and crab-boil being poured on their bodies.”

But not all hazings involve such extreme measures and there can be a lot of pleasure to be gained from viewing home videos (on the Tube sites for example) and realty movies on some adult sites – particularly as hazing is fast becoming a fetish genre in the adult industry.

Here’s an example: I searched out collegehazing.com a site dedicated to the practice of sexual humiliation among new guys at college. Images here ranged from guys who were simply ‘mooning’ (showing off their asses) to being bound and stripped. Having to flash one’s dick to the general public is a fairly common and innocuous activity, but licking someone’s ass in order to be accepted in to a football team may leave a nasty taste in the mouth, particularly if you’re a straight guy. Many of these initiations happen during parties, or certainly when there is alcohol around and it is not uncommon to see guys who are unconscious through too much drink being stripped, and even masturbated, while the others look on and the cameras click away.

So is it always a homoerotic pastime I ask myself? Is there always a sexual side to hazing? No, not always but it does seem that even the straightest of football players will stand by and watch as another guy gets naked. It may build team spirit and help the guys to bond but how far will they go to be in a team? Cyd Zeigler Jr., on outsports.com points out: Many of the acts that younger players are submitted to are also homoerotic or homosexual. Licking each other’s bodies, simulating sex acts, forced sodomy with various objects – these acts work on two levels. First, they reinforce the notion that same-sex affection is weaker; the subjected men are rarely “hazed” with forced affection from someone of the opposite sex. Second, they serve to satisfy the latent homosexuality of many of the players involved.

So hazing, in these all male situations, is about domination, both of the body and the mind. It can be seen on various levels: fun, when innocuous; sexual, when nudity, simulated and even actual sex is involved; and powerful as, at the end of the day, the group, the herd, tribe, sports team or gang is the thing that holds the power to accept or reject the person fighting for the right to join them. The trouble is, in the wrong hands or when out of control it can simply go too far.